Just a thought...

June 26, 2014

Obviously this is the first post I have done since returning from Europe. I have been keeping busy working on the various projects we have been assigned. I have dedicated most of my time to my sketchbook which I decided to restart because the one that I had taken with me was completely hashed and looked as though it would fall apart at any moment. This decision has made me redraw several pictures and in the end it has pushed my drawing abilities to the next level. 

I am not a master artist, I have never claimed to be nor do I enjoy sharing my work. But several friends and family members (that shall remain nameless) continually encourage me to share it. 

But I think it's important to emphasize that anyone can draw. Anyone can do what I do. Granted it is much easier for me because I have spent much of my life with either a pencil or pen in my hand. 

While on the study abroad program, I had the opportunity to help others that didn't feel so confident in their sketching. Whether or not I actually helped remains to be seen. But it got me thinking. Which is very dangerous for me because you never know where I may end up.

Here's the conclusion I came to. 

Everyone admires others with skills that they wish they had. Whether it is art, athletics, music, patience, empathy, or even looks and health/fitness. The list continues but I'm sure that you don't want to read only a list of attributes.

The point is, the number one thing I tell people when they ask how do I do what I do, I simply tell them I want to be better. Every picture I have ever drawn, has mistakes. Flat out.

I can see them. They glare out at me like a semi-trucks headlights. Since I can see the flaws I hide it. I don't want to share it with anyone. Isn't this what the human nature is about? We inwardly strive for perfection. Why else do singers keep singing? Why do athletes continually push for perfect games? Why do we seek the highest score in games and even in life?

We want to be the best.

We want perfection.

But we fall short of that. Every day we make mistakes. Every day our lives are etched with more choices and opportunities for us to change what is around us, either for good or bad. Once time passes those opportunities are gone. Time is precious and at the end of the day we have to ask ourselves if the choices we make are helping us become our vision of perfection.

When we don't achieve that perfection it can lead us to making one of two choices.

1- We give up. We begin to hate that specific activity and feed ourselves a steady diet of falsehoods. We tell ourselves that we will never be good enough. We compare our work to the work of others and soon it would have been better if we had never tried.

or

2- We use it as a learning experience and continue. We push ourselves to be a little better. We will make goals to score once more, block the opposing team once more, play a piece of music with one less mistake. We don't give up and in time, the results of anything we set our minds to learning becomes easier and when we look back at the first attempt we see how far we have come. It empowers us to go and try something new and different and with perseverance soon we can become skilled in that as well.

When asked about my art work and where I learned it, I can honestly say I am mostly self taught. I loath art classes. Art is not meant to be a cookie cutter process. People have to develop their own styles. All the formal art instruction I have had, has tried to get me to make art some other way. There is no praise for trying, no encouragement for learning. 

One project takes up time, then it is over and we began a new one. The art teachers didn't give tips or tricks on how to add depth or shadow or to enhance the perspective.

I have found that the will to learn on one's own, whether it be math, science, art or sports... anything really. One's own determination is the best driving force to gain new skills and abilities.

So yes, I am a self taught artist. 

However,

I struggle finding the good in what I do. As mentioned I see the mistakes but it doesn't discourage me. I use those as opportunities to say "Well that didn't work." and I try again.
I have found that I love to make others happy or make them smile which is why I have no problem doing service or making something and simply giving it away. Others look at me like I am crazy or that I am a fool.

But in the moment of craziness, someone else realizes they have a friend. They can look at what I do and know that someone is willing to take the time to do something nice for them and if they let it, the kindness will continue. 

It sounds stupid and cheesy. 

But my art is not something that I am perfect at. I have talent as others say but I am still far from wanting or sharing it with the masses. I don't know if I ever will.

But I have found that people look up to me and wish they had my ability. But guess what...

I admire them.

The people we place on pedestals admire those that admire them. Every one has strengths and skills unique to them. Which is why the world can work the way it does. We need those that love math and science just as much as the artists and architects, the interior designers and the fashion designers. We are different for a reason and although you may look and admire people...

just remember...

There IS someone that admires you just as much!

June 1, 2014 A slow Sunday

June 1, 2014

Today marks the last sunday on the study abroad trip. It is also a free day, so my plans for today… I get to go to church!!! First off I slept in! It was glorious to say the least. I went to the singles ward with Rachel Rosier and we enjoyed the Fast and Testimony meeting that they had.

It was really cool. Instead of the usual awkward silence that occurs for a good 15 minutes, there were people lining up to share their testimonies. There were continuous testimonies and finally the bishop had to get up and say no more and that those that were in line would finish out the meeting.

But it was really good. I have missed church more than I had thought.

After sacrament meeting, Rachel and I came back to our flat and met up with Sherry and went out to the British Museum. We spent a good amount of time in the gift shop and I got two postcards and a puzzle. I am excited about it.

After the gift shop we quickly looked at the Ancient Egyptian exhibit and I was totally in geek heaven! I love Love LOVE ancient history and all the cool relics that come from those days. I saw several mummies and their sarcophagi, I saw the Sutton Hoo helmet that I learned about in Dr. Cogan’s humanities class and tons of other cools bits and bobs from the medieval days of Europe.

It was really cool.

We didnt stay long in the Museum since it closes at 5:30 on Sundays and honestly I was glad. I am coming down with something and I wasn’t feeling to good. So we came back to the flat and get to look forward to a bright and early day tomorrow! We are going to the town of bath! So fun!

Details to follow!